This article is extracted from “This is NOT a Second Honeymoon: Helping Couples Survive Spending A Lot of Time Together”, a book that was written by Christopher L. Smith to help couples during the COVID-19 pandemic. In his clinical work, he realized that couples being quarantined together have particular challenges. The book goes into a lot of these challenges along with strategies to survive these types of times and even to have their relationship thrive. We will be sharing a series of these extracts over several weeks to help you. If you would like to look at all of them together and get the book right away, it can be found on Amazon (Book).

While it is true that some hobbies and regular “fun” activities will not be able to be done while you are having to stay at home, this does not mean that you have to give up on all your hobbies. Some of your hobbies can naturally be done at home, and others can be adapted to be able to be done at home. These may need to have things worked out so that doing the hobbies fits in with your partner’s use of your home. While this will not work for everything, you might even be able to get your partner to become involved with an activity to minimize the conflict that it could create. Maybe you like doing puzzles, and your partner would be willing to also work on a puzzle with you. Perhaps you are moving your gym workout to a home-based workout, and your partner can help to count reps or time your efforts for you.

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There are other activities that may not have a natural transition to being at home. If you do not have an outdoor space, you probably do not want to play basketball inside your home, for example. In other cases, you may have to get creative to have ways of making it work at home, for example transitioning your Twelve Step meeting from in-person in a church basement to an online cyber meeting. Some of these creative ways may be more than you want to be able to do. As you find things that you decide you will not be doing during this time, think carefully about whether what you are left leaves you with a balanced life. Are you maintaining a range of interests that give you what you need? If not, think about what you might be able to do to bring some of that balance back. Here's the Book.


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