This article is extracted from “This is NOT a Second Honeymoon: Helping Couples Survive Spending A Lot of Time Together”, a book that was written by Christopher L. Smith to help couples during the COVID-19 pandemic. In his clinical work, he realized that couples being quarantined together have particular challenges. The book goes into a lot of these challenges along with strategies to survive these types of times and even to have their relationship thrive. We will be sharing a series of these extracts over several weeks to help you. If you would like to look at all of them together and get the book right away, it can be found on Amazon (Book).

There comes a time when the previous strategies lead you to need to talk to your partner about what is bothering you. Some of these things you may have even talked about before being confined together. When you do, it is important to be careful about how you communicate with your partner. Be sure to use the strategies outlined in the first section of this blog series.

However, at this point, there is a particularly important communication tool to use in addition to the ones that were talked about before. Just as you clearly communicate the things that are bothering you that you are hoping your partner will be able to help with to make you less bothered, it is important to acknowledge that you are not perfect either. Acknowledge that you know there must be things that you do that bother them.

It is important to acknowledge that you are not perfect either.

This is NOT a Second Honeymoon— Christopher L.Smith

You might even raise some of the ones that you have heard your partner raising while you have been confined together. Even if you do this, it is still important to ask them for their concerns, so they have an opportunity to get those in the open as well. It is not tit for tat but really a genuine desire on your part for things to bother both of you less. Here’s the Book.