This article is extracted from “This is NOT a Second Honeymoon: Helping Couples Survive Spending A Lot of Time Together”, a book that was written by Christopher L. Smith to help couples during the COVID-19 pandemic. In his clinical work, he realized that couples being quarantined together have particular challenges. The book goes into a lot of these challenges along with strategies to survive these types of times and even to have their relationship thrive. We will be sharing a series of these extracts over several weeks to help you. If you would like to look at all of them together and get the book right away, it can be found on Amazon (Book).

The more compact your space is, the more important it is to be clear on your schedules so that they work with each other. Aspects of compatibility that you used to have may no longer apply. One of you getting up an hour after the other used to work because that allowed one-person space to wake up and get out the door before the other roamed the space doing their own thing. Now that that first person is using the bedroom as their office during the day, the old compatibility is out the window.

A lot of things factor into finding a compatible schedule. Certainly, you need to take into account how each of you is using shared limited resources (such as a landline phone or computer). However, you also need to think about when each of you might need quiet and when you might be making more noise. Depending on how you are together might determine whether you want common meals and break times or whether you want to stagger them. Some of these things don’t have right answers, but as you work out your schedules, there will be a right answer for you.

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Like many areas you are dealing with, giving yourself grace is important. Neither of you may have worked from home before, and so this will be a learning experience. As things play out, to really have as compatible of schedules as possible, you may have to revisit the topic and work out new changes. This is okay. Here's the Book.


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